To Love Oneself

At the same time last year, I was surprised by the guy I was dating with a bouquet of my favorite flowers, tulips. He filmed the moment, hoping to wake me up early in the morning with Alicia Keys’ If I Ain’t Got You playing softly in the background. But my sleepy self was too stubborn, and his plan didn’t go as expected. Still, it made me feel special. I thought I would be celebrating every Valentine’s Day with him.

Until he decided he no longer wanted to be with me.

 

It shattered me. The pain was unbearable. I felt like I had lost not just him but also the version of myself that once believed in forever. I replayed memories in my head, wondering where things went wrong, wondering why I wasn't enough.

 

But heartbreak, no matter how brutal, isn’t the end. It forces you to confront yourself, to sit with the emptiness, and decide what to fill it with.

 

So, what does it mean to love oneself?

 

It means allowing yourself to grieve but refusing to stay in grief. It’s learning to wake up in the morning without waiting for a message that will never come. It’s choosing to take care of yourself, not because someone else might love you for it, but because you deserve it.

 

Loving oneself is relearning who you are outside of the love you lost. It’s believing that if he has found someone else, it doesn’t mean she is better than you. It simply means she is better for him. And that distinction makes all the difference because your worth was never something to be measured against someone else.

 

It’s finding joy in small things again, buying your own tulips, playing If I Ain’t Got You without breaking down, and realizing that love, real love, starts with you.

 

And maybe next Valentine’s Day, it won’t be about who’s holding your hand but about how steady you’ve become on your own.

 

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